This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
