I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
