you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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