I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
