yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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