My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Still dying that you shit outside
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
