This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
