I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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