Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
