let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Mom said you looked used
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
