i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
They are going to name an STD after you.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
