Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
