Do vagina's smell?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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