I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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