My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
