I just threw up on my dentist
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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