how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize