Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
