It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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