So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
