So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
