Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
