I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can I color on your dick again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I touched a dick in church today
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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