I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
