I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
