I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we're making bets on your personal life
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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