question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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