Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize