Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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