He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
