So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
