This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
