ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
