i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
