you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
