you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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