Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
