i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
