That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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