fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
