maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Randomize
