i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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