My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
