I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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