Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
