Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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