Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Drake has all the answers
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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