you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
