In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
