I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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