i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
