I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Someone came in the potted fern
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
