The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
