I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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