tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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