I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
