I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
