you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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