coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
