I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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