i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I love how my cats smell like pot.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
