Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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