I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
