when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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