a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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