If that was your dad, he is hot
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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