just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
