it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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