I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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