i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
