some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
