worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
