Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
